If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
