Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
