Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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