Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
