Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
