That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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