turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize