Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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