No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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