okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
