i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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