she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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