I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
