Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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