There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
