we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
