Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I cut my penus on the lid.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
