How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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