Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
