Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
