Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
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I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
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I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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