i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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