so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize