I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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