Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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