She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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