Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
