I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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