She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
