Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
