Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
