She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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