i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
