Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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