Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize