Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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