I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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