I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
