READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
