brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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