areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
jump out the window naked night went bad
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
