Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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