Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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