getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
