Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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