And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
