Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
