He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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