dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
