This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
im about as happy as oj after his trial
She announced her abortion via fbk
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
