it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
