she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
