I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize