Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
