Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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