Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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