I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
